An open letter to my almost two year old

To Colton on your 2^nd birthday,

Hi Bubs, it’s Mama. 

I have to be honest I’m having a bit of a hard time. Today is the day before your second birthday. I know that I’m supposed to be excited and thrilled for you, but a big part of me is very sad.  I’m sad because tomorrow you will officially become a “little boy” and that might be more than I can handle. You’ll always be my baby boy. You’ll always be my mister smiley. You’ll also always be the one who taught me that babies are not easy. Your sister, you see, was what they call an “angel” baby. Some might even call her a “trick” baby because she led us to believe that having an infant was super-duper easy. Because of that we decided that having a second child was something we wanted. How hard could it be?? Haha! So naïve.

And that’s not to say that once you were here you were a difficult baby, but you certainly did not make things as easy on us as Chaela did. You were given the nickname mister smiley early on because you hit the milestone of smiling before we expected you to hit it.  You also loved to sleep just like your sister.  But boy, when you wanted something did you let us know by SCREAMING.  You had this ear piercing scream that I will never forget and sometimes you still use those lungs when you’re upset!  I hope you know that’s what makes you special. Although I am sad that you are losing your baby chubs and growing into a little boy, I am so impressed with your strong opinions and how you’re never afraid to express them.  You know what you want, when you want it and you have no problem letting anyone know. You’re a strong willed person with a twisted sense of humor (I’d like to think you get that from me, but I suppose we can thank daddy, too.) You can also be quite shy at times when we go somewhere new. I guess that’s the Gemini in you. You have two definite sides to you. One that terrifies me, yet impresses me because you are so bold and so brave and the other side that I adore because you can be so sensitive, sweet and loving.

Let’s talk about Elmo. In case we forget to tell you someday, because believe me it’s hard to remember everything the second child does with as much detail as we did with the first, let me tell you that you LOVE Elmo. And I don’t just mean love like a child loves ice cream or cake. You have affection towards Elmo unlike anything I’ve ever seen. He goes with us everywhere. You sleep with him. He eats with you. He goes on car rides with you. You get snot on him. He gives you hugs when you need them. You watch him on TV. He gets you through dinners when we eat at restaurants. You guys have a real connection.  I hope that you continue this sort of affection with the friends you gain at school and throughout your life. It shows me that you understand what loyalty is at such a young age. Elmo is your homie now, but whoever gets you as a friend later in life - they are truly the lucky ones and they will have that gross booger covered Elmo to thank. 

I love you so much, buddy. Sometimes I have more sympathy than most would with you because I know you want to talk to me clearly, SO badly.  Lately you are a little tongue tied with your words and that is very difficult for you. It is, however, very funny because Daddy and I know what you mean to say, but sometimes it’s like talking to a foreign exchange student. I am so excited and also a little scared for the day that you figure out how to open your mouth and pronounce words correctly. We will be in so much trouble when that day comes. 

Some other things I want to share with you before my memory fades away...

You may look innocent and cute, but you are also VERY into wrestling and rough housing lately. You pounced on me like a cat the other day, and while I was in shock and screaming "ouch" with laughter, your daddy said “Welcome to having a boy, honey.” You have so much passion with everything you do. Whether it’s singing a song or hugging me so hard that it turns into choking and pinching me, you put your full heart into everything you do. You even put passion into your food. We know if you love something because you will hum quite loudly as you eat it. And of course if you don’t like something you will gag, scream and say “NO!” very clearly too. Your main food groups are: Pancakes, waffles, chicken, fish, ritz crackers, apple sauce and cookies. And all of these can change depending on what mood you are in and hopefully someday you'll expand from being so picky. 

Did you know you have the most amazing big sister in the world? She love you so much! She's been your number one fan since day one. Sometimes you make her crazy because she doesn't remember what it was like to be a little guy with no way of communicating too clearly, but she also has an incredible amount of patience with you. She loves to give you hugs, sometimes a little too tight, but you also give that love back to her ten fold with your random hugs and kisses that surprise us. It amazes me how you can be enemies and the best of friends all in one day. She'll sing to you when you cry, she'll level with you when you're being unreasonable and she'll even take baths with you despite her better judgement. There's few things that make me so happy as seeing the two of you together, even the times when you make each other crazy. I hope you know that she will always have your back. She is one tough chick.

Can I tell you my favorite thing we do lately? When I put you to bed at night, you’ve been letting me rock you like a baby in my arms just like you used to when you were a newborn. It’s so special to me because I know you don’t like it, but somehow you understand

that I need it and allow it. It melts my heart to look down at you smiling at what a dork I am.  And once you’ve grown tired of the rocking you reach for your crib, and I swear I’ve never met a child who loves to crawl into their crib as much as you do.  Anyway, after you’ve gotten in your crib, I sit down by the side of it and you give me kisses through the railing of your crib and we giggle about it. I’ll whisper to you “I love you bubs” and you’ll say back to me “I wuv oo mama” and my heart explodes.  Someday it won’t be so cool to kiss me as much as I love to kiss you. I love this new little routine we’ve created. It makes me feel so special because most of the time you want Daddy at night. And while I get it, because Daddy is pretty great, I secretly wish that you would only want me forever and ever because that’s what crazy mamas want.

My wish for you as you turn two years old is very simple. I wish for you that you continue to live your life with such outright passion. I hope that you never stop expressing yourself, even if it seems impossible to get your point across. And may you always remember that Mama will always be there to give you big hugs and kisses – even when you become too cool for it someday - I’ll still be the weirdo who will give you a million kisses all over your face because your my bubs, buddy and little mister smiley always and forever!!!

Love,

Mama

P.S. Someday you'll find out about those videos we did each month of your sister's first year of life and also about her 1 year old photo shoot. Pay no attention to that. Someday if you have kids of your own you'll understand that once you have two kids lots of things get trickier to do!! I hope this heartfelt blog and collection of pics from the last 2 years somewhat makes up for that!! XOXOXO

   

How To Keep Your Kids Safe & Itzy Ritzy "Hush Happens" Door Silencer Giveaway!

The stages of safety after becoming parents are as follows:

Stage 1: Yay!!! The baby can roll over!!! We've hit one of the most amazing milestones, yipee!! 

Stage 2: Oh crap! The baby is rolling over! Quick, get everything out of their way and do NOT let them out of your sight! Even if you've thought about trying this, do NOT try this, as we hear it is frowned upon, although at first glance does seem genius....

Stage 3: When did this child start crawling??!!! And now they're pulling themselves up!! Hurry up and move all the dangerous breakables off the tables! Strap all the things to the walls! Add cushions to all of the edges so they don't bonk their head! Cover the plugs!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Stage 4: Awwwwwww, oh my goodness, the baby took their first steps!!! Can you believe it honey??? Awww, errr, no wait!! Not the stairs!! 

And once walking begins, it's all over, as they say. All jokes aside, we truly believe that it is very important to safeguard your home once your child goes through the stages of rolling, crawling, pulling themselves up and finally once they walk. For tips from Safe Kids Worldwide, simply click on the link. They offer age specific tips, which we found to be very helpful ourselves. 

Here are our thoughts on safety from our Mamalogues YouTube channel, we hope you enjoy it! 

Would you like to enter to win the "Hush Happens" Door Silencer from Itzy Ritzy?? Well, you're in luck, because we have been gifted with 3 of them to give away!! Styles available are pictured here:

 Special thanks to Itzy Ritzy for being so generous and for helping parents who just got their baby to sleep everywhere!! The struggle is real!! We appreciate your business thinking outside the box to create a product that protects our children and also keeps us from waking them up!!  

Shout again once again to LouAnn and Anthony at Jersey Fire & Safety Products for answering our safety question and for all that your business provides to the fire and safety community! The work that you do is so important!! 

The "Hush Happens" giveaway entries begin at 3PM PST on June 13th, 2017 and will end at 11:59PM PST on June 21st, 2017! Good luck! Winners will be announced within 72 hours of entry completion time. 

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Cake Maternity Nursing Bra Review & $100 Gift Card GIVEAWAY!!!

Here at Mamalogues we try to feature a product we LOVE in every episode of our YouTube show. This week we are doing a $100 GIFT CARD GIVEAWAY from Cake Maternity!!  We are so excited to share our thoughts with you on the nursing bras we received from them.  Let's start by saying we were SHOCKED that they had our exact sizes with no issues.

Dani's size is pretty standard, 36B, but rarely do all 36B's fit on the first try. As we all know, no bra company creates their bras equally. Mary Beth, on the other hand, has a very difficult time finding the right bra, and sometimes needs a custom order. Thankfully, Cake Maternity had her correct size AND IT FIT PERFECTLY!!!

The next thing that struck us was how great these bras look and feel! They're super cute and they are even more comfortable. Dani recieved the Waffles 3d Spacer Contour Nursing Bra in black. Pictured below:

While it may be true that Dani is no longer nursing her children, she has A LOT of experience with uncomfortable and down right hideous nursing bras - you know the ones we're talking about! Cake Maternity's nursing bra is hands down THE BEST nursing bra Dani has ever worn.  So soft, and even sexy to wear. It's sad how often we feel un-sexy while nursing, so it was really heartwarming to see that Cake understands a nursing mama still wants to feel good about the lingerie she is wearing.

As we mentioned above, Mary Beth has a more difficult time finding the right bra because her size is less common.  She has an even harder time ensuring that those bras offer the appropriate back support and comfort, while also keeping her feeling sexy. Mary Beth was blown away by the Croissant Smoothing Flexi Wire Spacer Nursing Bra that she received in Beige, pictured below:

Did you notice the super cute lime colored accents? We did, too!! What a fun way to spice up a nursing bra, right??!!  Mary Beth loved the comfort and security she felt while wearing this bra which is super important to any mom that is pregnant like she is! She's already ordering more bras as we speak!!

Would you like to try out Cake Maternity's selection of nursing bras, maternity lingerie and more?? Well you are in luck because we are running a giveaway that ends on June 13th at 11:59pm.  What will you win? A $100 gift card to their website so you can order your very own bra, too!!! 

Hooray!!! Check out the link below to find all the ways you can enter our raffle and GOOD LUCK!!! 

Thanks for stopping by!

XO! 

Dani and MB

$100 Gift Card from Cake Maternity!!!!

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Sleep!

By Kate DelPizzo

One thing every new mom is guaranteed to hear soon after her baby is born is some variation of the question, “Does he sleep?" This query can (and will) come from anyone and everyone she encounters: good friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, other new moms; heck, I even had a total stranger at CVS ask me when I was waiting in line to buy some baby item that was designed to make my son’s gas miraculously disappear (hint: Colic Calm is magic in a little bottle).

When my son was born, I learned very quickly that he was NOT a good sleeper. His tiny eyes were always wide open, looking around the room, taking in every sight and refusing to close. He was happiest when he was surrounded by a crowd of people and fought like the dickens whenever it was time to go down for a nap or to bed at night. My reports from daycare would read as follows: "Ben napped for 20 minutes...all day."

As other new moms were exclaiming with joy that their 10 week olds were giving them 6 hour stretches at night, my little guy was waking up every 45 minutes and refusing to sleep once 4am hit unless he was being held and rocked simultaneously. It was around this time that my husband learned to excel at sleeping in motion and I got pretty good at googling "how long a person could actually go without sleep?"

By 4 months, I started doing some serious research on sleep training. I learned all about the various methods: extinction, Ferber, Sleep Lady Shuffle, Babywise, pick up put down, Pat/shush; you name it, I read about it. I joined Facebook groups about sleep training. I read about the pros and cons of sleep training. I convinced myself that I was crazy to sleep train. Five minutes later, I convinced myself that I was crazy not to sleep train. I even went so far as to get the number of a sleep consultant who touted "a good night's sleep is closer than you think."

At 5 months, when the sleep deprivation was getting real, and I was surviving on coffee and the occasional lactation smoothie, I decided to bite the bullet and call the sleep consultant. My husband and I filled out an extensive questionnaire, cleared things with the pediatrician, and booked an immediate Skype conference with the hopes of getting one step closer to that ever so coveted “good night's sleep.”

Our 60 minute consultation covered everything from temperament and nursing habits, to comfort level with different methods of sleep training and evil "sleep crutches" impacting my baby's ability to self-sooth and sleep independently. It even instilled a glimmer of hope that my restless son could (and would) eventually sleep through the night or at least for more than 45 minutes in a row.

We decided, since my son was rather persistent, to try a more extreme version of sleep training, where we would put him in his crib awake, let him cry for 45 whole minutes before entering the room to calm him down and repeat the process over again. It seemed brutal, and I was hesitant to agree, but our consultant ensured us that this method would take about 3 or 4 nights and result in his learning how to sleep independently.

On that first night, we did our typical nighttime routine (bath, lotion, pj’s, nurse), but instead of letting Ben nurse to sleep (aka evil sleep crutch), I handed him off to daddy who topped him off with a bottle and plopped him into bed... wide awake. Truth be told, I then raced out the door and immediately drove to Wendy's where I purchased a huge order of fries and a frosty. If the wine store hadn't been off limits, due to frequent breastfeeding and disinterest in pumping and dumping the liquid gold that is breast milk, it would have easily been my next stop.

I decided to call my husband and check in with him about the process. We had agreed that it would be best for me to leave the apartment after putting the baby down, because my hearing him scream would have been helpful for no one.

To my great surprise, my husband told me that the baby had "fussed" for about 10 minutes and then had fallen sleep. It was a miracle. The child who had lungs of steel, had actually fallen asleep without a major fight! 

Despite this win for our team, my husband urged me to come home to relax because "the worst was yet to come." I wish I could say that this wasn't the case, but unfortunately he was right.

That first night, Ben woke up around 1am, (an improvement from past nights). I went in to nurse him, as we had agreed to sleep train with 2 overnight feedings, fed him, and put him back down in the crib... awake. I left the bedroom and had high hopes that he would fuss for 10 minutes and return to sleep. For about 2 minutes, my delusions of grandeur were real and the baby merely "fussed".  After that, however, the lungs of steel kicked into high gear and he began to wail.

I had the immediate urge to go in and hold him, but we went through with the plan, and let him cry for 45 agonizing minutes, before my husband went in to comfort him and we began the process over again. By the end of the night Ben had cried and cried and cried and cried, my husband and I had yelled and cried and screamed and cried, but ultimately the baby had put himself to sleep.

As the process went on, each night got easier and by night 4, things were much smoother. Although Ben was still putting up a fight, he was crying less and sleeping more. My husband and I were less irritable and finally feeling slightly rested and in better spirits. Although "sleeping through the night" was still a ways away, the nights of waking up every 45 minutes were behind us for the time being (I'll save sleep regressions and nap transitions for another time).

In conclusion, I would be lying if I said this process was simple, worked immediately and made my son an amazing sleeper. It was hard, time consuming and exhausting. It made me question myself as a person and wonder if I was a horrible mom for letting my kid cry. Heck, I am sure there are several people who will read this blog and think that I am a mean mommy for sleep training my son and letting him cry at such a young age. To those people, and to all mommies in general, I say this: Being a mom is deciding on what is best for you and your child and trying your best to see it through to fruition. It isn't the same for every family and it won't always be pretty. Sometimes your kid will cry for 45 whole minutes, you will feel horrible, and end up questioning your decisions. But no matter what, as long as you love your child with all your heart and try your best, you are doing a great job.

Sleep well mommies!! ‘Til next time.