When our little balls of joy make their exits from the womb, one of the last things you want to worry about is what products you are using on your baby's skin. It often goes like this in real life: You enter Target. You're exhausted. You're down tot the last diaper. You baby has a ridiculous rash that you can't seem to fix. And just when you thought your baby was comfortably sleeping in the stroller, your little cherub is now screaming quite loudly at you because they've had ANOTHER BLOW OUT!!! AHHHH!!! Sweat drips from your exhausted and furrowed brow as you stare blankly at the ENDLESS amounts of infant skincare on display.
So how do you choose what's best for your baby?? We already have the incredibly daunting task of figuring out how to feed these tiny humans while also sorting out their sleep patterns - and our new lack of sleep pattern for that matter! If that isn't bad enough, we then have to sort through endless brands of diapers, wipes, butt creams, baby wash, baby lotion, and children's sun screen too. Babies and Toddlers have the softest skin on the planet and the goal for all parents is to keep it that way. But what do we do when there are so many potentially threatening chemicals in our children's skincare products??
Check out the latest episode of Mamalogues to get all of our thoughts on Skincare products that we like and use for our babies! We will also give you a coupon code from Happy Little Camper! We also will tell you what we think about these wonderful and chemical free wipes that we are sniffing!!
This week on Mamalogues we are discussing every Mama's favorite topic:
GROCERY SHOPPING WITH YOUR wonderful CHILDREN!!!
(....and why you should have just left them at home.)
Here is our detailed list of why we - and by "we" we mostly mean Dani - can't stand Grocery Shopping with children:
Taking my kids grocery shopping always seems like a good idea at first. Because sometimes they are not that awful...Exhibit A:
And because of times like the above, I'll tell my husband, "I don't mind, I'll take them with me." Sounds harmless, right??? Careful what you wish for, Mama, because the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And this may come as a surprise, but there is actually no one at the grocery store who hands out awards to the best behaved child or most patient mama...because SPOILER ALERT: None of those two things exists. (At least not all of the time.)
The drama always starts in the car. One kid dropped Elmo on the floor and is having a tantrum because he can't reach it. The other has announced that they "have to pee" after being told 500 times to go before we left! Nothing makes me crazier than having to take two children into the disgusting bathrooms at the grocery store. Call me crazy, but can't I have ONE trip to the grocery store with out visiting the nauseating bathroom? Is that too much to ask????
Somehow I always find the shopping cart with the busted wheel. I don't know how or why, but I have a knack for not only finding the world's crappiest cart, but because I'm in such a rush to get out of there as fast as I got in there, I have lowered my standards to the squeaky and unruly carts. And then the fight about who gets to sit where in the cart begins. Is it not bad enough that I have to dance with this shopping cart because it can't move in a straight line? You think I also want to explain to you for the 20,000th time why two children can't fit in the top of the cart? But I digress....
It's super annoying that no one can keep their hands to themselves. Never did I ever think I'd have to do a "hand check" before the teen years, but my children can't seem to control their little hands in the store. I'm pretty sure that before we enter the store, they've made some sort of "let's drive mom crazy" agreement in the back seat of my car. "I'll grab the candy, and while I'm doing that, you throw the waffles on the floor as a distraction. It will be epic! She'll never see it coming!" And then everyone is laughing but mommy.
Why is it that strangers just don't get it that I have no desire to engage in conversation while also trying to keep my toddler who acts like a drunk frat boy inside the shopping cart?? It's not a coincidence that in the last aisle I dodged your smile as you passed me. It's because if I look away from this boy for one second to talk to you, in the next few seconds he will be standing up and about to do his next trust fall to his older sister down below who, by the way, has yet to catch him.
Also, can we do away with stickers at the check out line? Because let me tell you something. I feel like I just escaped a battle ground from fighting with these two, and your're rewarding them with stickers because???? Why?? Remind me again?? Because you enjoy seeing me peel them off of the back of my seats? Because you find it amusing that they've placed them on their clothing where I won't see it before it goes in the washer and then after that find them in my dryer in a million pieces? Enough already!! And of course it never fails that it's 1,000 degrees outside when we have to re-enter the car after a long grocery shopping battle royale. I'm already sweating from the circus that just happened inside the store. And now I've got my youngest fighting me to get into his car seat and the other one whining about how it is "too hot"! Every. Single. Time. Getting them in the car, along with the groceries, is my own personal hell. And once we are in the car the grand inquisition begins about when they can have their treats. They have the incredible ability of forgetting the torture they just put me through, and act shocked and surprised when I reveal to them that no treats are being offered after the nightmare that has just occurred.
So in conclusion, Mama, may we suggest you just leave the kids behind next time? Trust us, eye brow dreams do not come true. We know this first hand. Watch the episode featured in this blog post to laugh (and maybe cry) along with us!!
One thing every new mom is guaranteed to hear soon after her baby is born is
some variation of the question, “Does he sleep?" This query can (and will)
come from anyone and everyone she encounters: good friends, family,
acquaintances, co-workers, other new moms; heck, I even had a total stranger at
CVS ask me when I was waiting in line to buy some baby item that was designed
to make my son’s gas miraculously disappear (hint: Colic Calm is magic in a
little bottle).
When my son was born, I learned very quickly that he was NOT a good sleeper.
His tiny eyes were always wide open, looking around the room, taking in every
sight and refusing to close. He was happiest when he was surrounded by a crowd
of people and fought like the dickens whenever it was time to go down for a nap
or to bed at night. My reports from daycare would read as follows: "Ben
napped for 20 minutes...all day."
As other new moms were exclaiming with joy that their 10 week olds were giving
them 6 hour stretches at night, my little guy was waking up every 45 minutes
and refusing to sleep once 4am hit unless he was being held and rocked
simultaneously. It was around this time that my husband learned to excel at
sleeping in motion and I got pretty good at googling "how long a person
could actually go without sleep?"
By 4 months, I started doing some serious research on sleep training. I learned
all about the various methods: extinction, Ferber, Sleep Lady Shuffle,
Babywise, pick up put down, Pat/shush; you name it, I read about it. I joined
Facebook groups about sleep training. I read about the pros and cons of sleep
training. I convinced myself that I was crazy to sleep train. Five minutes
later, I convinced myself that I was crazy not to sleep train. I even went so
far as to get the number of a sleep consultant who touted "a good night's
sleep is closer than you think."
At 5 months, when the sleep deprivation was getting real, and I was surviving
on coffee and the occasional lactation smoothie, I decided to bite the bullet
and call the sleep consultant. My husband and I filled out an extensive
questionnaire, cleared things with the pediatrician, and booked an immediate
Skype conference with the hopes of getting one step closer to that ever so
coveted “good night's sleep.”
Our 60 minute consultation covered everything from temperament and nursing
habits, to comfort level with different methods of sleep training and evil
"sleep crutches" impacting my baby's ability to self-sooth and sleep
independently. It even instilled a glimmer of hope that my restless son could
(and would) eventually sleep through the night or at least for more than 45
minutes in a row.
We decided, since my son was rather persistent, to try a more extreme version
of sleep training, where we would put him in his crib awake, let him cry for 45
whole minutes before entering the room to calm him down and repeat the process
over again. It seemed brutal, and I was hesitant to agree, but our consultant
ensured us that this method would take about 3 or 4 nights and result in his
learning how to sleep independently.
On that first night, we did our typical nighttime routine (bath, lotion, pj’s,
nurse), but instead of letting Ben nurse to sleep (aka evil sleep crutch), I
handed him off to daddy who topped him off with a bottle and plopped him into
bed... wide awake. Truth be told, I then raced out the door and immediately
drove to Wendy's where I purchased a huge order of fries and a frosty. If the
wine store hadn't been off limits, due to frequent breastfeeding and
disinterest in pumping and dumping the liquid gold that is breast milk, it
would have easily been my next stop.
I decided to call my husband and check in with him about the process. We had
agreed that it would be best for me to leave the apartment after putting the
baby down, because my hearing him scream would have been helpful for no one.
To my great surprise, my husband told me that the baby had "fussed"
for about 10 minutes and then had fallen sleep. It was a miracle. The child who
had lungs of steel, had actually fallen asleep without a major fight!
Despite
this win for our team, my husband urged me to come home to relax because
"the worst was yet to come." I wish I could say that this wasn't the
case, but unfortunately he was right.
That first night, Ben woke up around 1am, (an improvement from past nights). I
went in to nurse him, as we had agreed to sleep train with 2 overnight
feedings, fed him, and put him back down in the crib... awake. I left the
bedroom and had high hopes that he would fuss for 10 minutes and return to
sleep. For about 2 minutes, my delusions of grandeur were real and the baby
merely "fussed". After that, however, the lungs of steel kicked
into high gear and he began to wail.
I had the immediate urge to go in and hold him, but we went through with the
plan, and let him cry for 45 agonizing minutes, before my husband went in to
comfort him and we began the process over again. By the end of the night Ben
had cried and cried and cried and cried, my husband and I had yelled and cried
and screamed and cried, but ultimately the baby had put himself to sleep.
As the process went on, each night got easier and by night 4, things were much
smoother. Although Ben was still putting up a fight, he was crying less and sleeping
more. My husband and I were less irritable and finally feeling slightly rested
and in better spirits. Although "sleeping through the night" was
still a ways away, the nights of waking up every 45 minutes were behind us for
the time being (I'll save sleep regressions and nap transitions for another
time).
In conclusion, I would be lying if I said this process was simple, worked
immediately and made my son an amazing sleeper. It was hard, time consuming and
exhausting. It made me question myself as a person and wonder if I was a
horrible mom for letting my kid cry. Heck, I am sure there are several people
who will read this blog and think that I am a mean mommy for sleep training my
son and letting him cry at such a young age. To those people, and to all
mommies in general, I say this: Being a mom is deciding on what is best for you
and your child and trying your best to see it through to fruition. It isn't the
same for every family and it won't always be pretty. Sometimes your kid will
cry for 45 whole minutes, you will feel horrible, and end up questioning your
decisions. But no matter what, as long as you love your child with all your
heart and try your best, you are doing a great job.
Sleep well mommies!! ‘Til next time.
Hello and welcome to the Mamalogues Blog! This is the home for longer pieces about the pleasures and pitfalls of pregnancy and parenting by members of the Mamalogues community. We always aim to give you the best advice on a range of topics that we struggled to find information on during our own journeys in pregnancy and parenting. Enjoy! Check out the Mamalogues YouTube channel for new videos every Tuesday. For tips, tricks and articles, follow us on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/mamalogues123/
Whenever a friend asks me for
pregnancy advice, “Exercise!” is my go-to answer. On more than one occasion, my
enthusiasm has been met with a dubious smile or exhausted stare. And I
completely get it. I remember how utterly wiped out I felt during my entire
pregnancy.
But I can’t help myself. I’m
convinced that exercise was the magic ingredient keeping me from falling apart
– at times mentally, at times physically – during my pregnancies.
You may already be doing some
guesswork about the kind of person I am. Let me assure you – I am not someone who
grew up a natural-born athlete. As a middle schooler, I tried to be a sprinter
because I thought it meant I’d have to do less running. In college, I started
running to counterbalance the large quantities of cheese fries and ice cream on
which I subsisted. I started running even more in grad school to manage stress
and to make up for the half a pizza I could polish off in a sitting. And yes, I
run even more now, and yes, I eat less pizza (because I have to share it with
my kids), but I am by no means a fitness guru.
Nevertheless – I am a big fan of
exercise during pregnancy. Here are a few of the reasons it made a big
difference for me.
Exercise gave me some time to
myself. When I was
pregnant with my second son, I had a two-year-old at home clamoring for my
attention. Those naps I had enjoyed during my first pregnancy? Those hours of
watching TV with my feet up? Yeah, that never happened second time around. One
of the best ways for me to actually hear myself think turned out to be
exercising. For me, that often meant running. Sometimes it meant walking.
Sometimes it meant yoga. Regardless, when I was exercising, I was doing
something good for myself and the little guy in my abdomen, and it often gave me
the space to mentally decompress that I needed.
Exercise alleviated some of my
pregnancy aches and pains. I
was lucky to have two healthy, low-risk pregnancies, but that does not mean
that I felt great all of the time. For example, the larger my belly grew, the
greater the pain in my low back – a dull, persistent ache that left me
squirming in my office chair. But pelvic tilts – one of the simplest exercises
out there – almost instantly made the pain go away. Some days, I would head
into the bathroom at work and take a few minutes to merrily tilt away. Was it
worth the occasional awkward run-ins with colleagues? You had better believe it.
Exercise empowered me. I happened to be in pretty good
shape at the start of my second pregnancy, so with my OB’s approval, I kept
running throughout the whole 42 weeks (you read that right). There was
something about weaving belly-first through the throngs on the Wildwood
Boardwalk that made me feel like a total badass (even though I’m glad there’s
no video footage). And when I logged a few miles on a treadmill on my due date,
I felt more confident about my impending labor. Whenever I was feeling anxious
during my pregnancies, exercise always helped me to feel like I was in control.
Exercise helped me mentally
prepare for labor, delivery, and everything that followed. Remember how I said I was in
good shape at the start of my second pregnancy? My first pregnancy was a
different story - when I found out in August that I was expecting, I had just
gotten back from an amazing road trip that involved LOTS of eating. My first
trimester was hot and uncomfortable, and my feeble attempts at running left me
feeling drained. I ended up turning to prenatal yoga, which was a game-changer.
I learned yogic breathwork (pranayama) and
poses that strengthened parts of my body that I would need for labor. I
practiced mindfulness that helped carry me through some pretty agonizing
Pitocin-induced contractions and later helped me cope with sleepless nights as
I attended to my crying infant. Also, I was able to practice prenatal yoga in
my living room, thanks to a great selection of classes available on what
continues to be one of my favorite websites – YogaDownload.com.
Exercise during pregnancy
motivated me after
pregnancy. Taking care
of a newborn (or a newborn and a toddler) is exhausting and time-consuming, and
makes showering – let alone exercising – seem impossible. Because I was used to
making time to exercise during my pregnancies, however, I was able to make it a
priority to resume exercising once I had recovered from delivery. All of the
benefits I had experienced when I exercised during pregnancy – getting some personal
space, feeling healthy and in control – continued after I had my babies. And
while it took way longer
than I had hoped it would, I did eventually lose my baby weight. Exercise
probably helped with that, too.
So now that I’ve made my case,
I’ll dish out my usual pregnancy advice – while you’re expecting, consider
making exercise a regular part of your self-care! Of course, you should talk to
your doctor or midwife before you begin any new fitness program, and be sure to
set reasonable goals and limits for yourself. I wish you and your baby a happy,
healthy pregnancy!
